Ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells during a Texas custody case—wondering what to say, how to act, or what might accidentally hurt your chances in court? You’re not alone, and that’s exactly why we’re here to talk about things you should not do in your Texas custody case, all in one place, and all in one sentence. Whether you’re just starting the process or knee-deep in court dates and parenting plans, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what you should.
At The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, we’ve seen how one misstep—an angry text, a missed visitation, or a rant on social media—can tip the scales. The truth is, Texas family courts are laser-focused on what’s in your child’s best interest, and if you’re not careful, a moment of frustration can cost you valuable time with your child. This blog lays out the pitfalls that parents too often overlook, especially when emotions are running high.
Keep reading to learn how to avoid common mistakes that can derail your custody case, damage your credibility, and impact your child’s emotional and academic stability. We’ll share real-world insights, practical tips, and legal guidance straight from the experienced attorneys at our firm—because educating families and protecting futures is what we do best.
Key Takeaways for Texas Custody Cases: What Not to Do
- Criticizing the other parent or making negative comments can damage your credibility and negatively impact your custody case.
- Ignoring court orders or withholding visitation without just cause can lead to severe legal repercussions and jeopardize custody rights.
- Proper documentation and seeking legal advice are crucial for protecting your parental rights and improving your standing in custody proceedings.
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Criticizing the Other Parent
One of the most damaging things you should not do in your Texas custody case is openly criticizing the other parent. Judges across Texas view this kind of behavior as more than just poor form—it can signal to the court that you’re placing your own frustration above your child’s emotional well-being. In fact, under Texas Family Code § 153.003, courts are prohibited from considering the gender or marital status of a parent but are very focused on each parent’s ability to foster a healthy relationship between the child and the other parent. If you’re actively undermining that bond, it can seriously hurt your case.
When a parent badmouths the other—whether to the child, in front of school staff, or during court proceedings—it can be perceived as a form of emotional manipulation or even psychological abuse. This type of conduct creates unnecessary conflict and emotional instability, which the court will see as contrary to the child’s best interests, as outlined in Texas Family Code § 153.002.
Our family law team often advises clients to keep conversations with or about the other parent focused, respectful, and child-centered—especially during legal proceedings. Judges tend to favor parents who demonstrate a mature, cooperative attitude and who prioritize maintaining a peaceful co-parenting dynamic. This not only helps your child adjust emotionally, but it also boosts your credibility in court.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to navigate co-parenting during litigation, we encourage you to take a moment to review Top Tips for Dads Fighting for Custody in Texas. While the advice is tailored to fathers, the insights are universally helpful for anyone seeking a fair and stable custody arrangement.
For more practical strategies on creating a strong foundation for co-parenting, you may also want to check out our post on what judges look for in child custody cases in Texas. Staying focused on what’s best for your child—rather than on past grievances—can make all the difference in protecting your parental rights and your child’s future.
Ignoring Court Orders
Ignoring court orders in a child custody case can lead to severe legal consequences, including contempt of court charges and the potential loss of custody rights. Judges view non-compliance as an indication of unreliability as a parent. Consistent disregard for court mandates can result in custody rights being revoked.
Ignoring court-ordered visitation schedules or withholding visitation without legal justification can lead to court intervention, being found in contempt, and risking your custody rights. Such actions can also disrupt the child’s stability and well-being, which is a primary concern for the court.
Financial penalties are another potential consequence of non-compliance with court orders, including wage garnishment for failing to pay child support payments. Compliance with court orders is crucial not only for maintaining custody rights but also for minimizing conflicts and ensuring a smoother custody process.
Withholding Visitation Without Just Cause
Among the most common and damaging things you should not do in your Texas custody case is withholding court-ordered visitation without legal justification. Under Texas Family Code § 153.001, both parents are presumed to be essential to a child’s development and emotional well-being. Refusing to allow the other parent visitation—except in situations involving immediate and verifiable harm—can be seen as undermining that relationship, which may ultimately hurt your credibility and standing in court.
Unless there is a real and immediate danger to the child, such as abuse or a credible threat to their safety, courts expect parents to strictly follow possession and access orders. Unilaterally denying access, even with good intentions, can result in contempt of court charges, monetary penalties, or even modifications to the existing custody arrangement.
Before taking any action, it’s crucial to consult with a qualified family law attorney. Our attorneys strongly encourage parents to handle visitation concerns through legal channels, not personal judgment. If there is an emergency, speak with your attorney immediately to determine whether a temporary restraining order, emergency modification, or police intervention is appropriate. Acting on your own without court approval can seriously jeopardize your parental rights.
This is why we frequently refer clients to legal resources such as Understanding Child Visitation Rights in Katy, which provides a clear explanation of when and how visitation can be enforced or modified under Texas law. For broader context, our blog post on how child custody works when one parent violates the court order offers further insight into the court’s approach to visitation enforcement.
Following the correct legal process not only protects your rights—it shows the court that you’re putting your child’s safety and stability first. That commitment can go a long way when custody decisions are being made and is essential to maintaining the court’s trust and your parental role.
Failing to Document Important Events
Proper documentation is a cornerstone of any effective child custody case. Documentation serves as vital evidence that can significantly impact the judge’s decision regarding the child’s welfare. Keeping detailed records of important events, such as interactions with the other parent and parenting responsibilities, strengthens your case and demonstrates compliance with court orders.
A custody journal can be an invaluable tool for tracking interactions and responsibilities. When documenting incidents for court, it is crucial to include the exact date, time, and a detailed description of each event. Organizing communication records, including emails and text messages, reflects your commitment to co-parenting and can enhance your credibility in court.
Including medical records and school records in your documentation can further illustrate your involvement in your child’s health and education. Failing to maintain thorough records of key events may undermine your credibility and weaken your position in court. Keeping proper documentation allows you to effectively advocate for your child’s best interests and improve your chances of a favorable custody outcome.
Speaking Negatively About the Custody Process
One of the overlooked yet impactful things you should not do in your Texas custody case is speaking negatively about the legal process itself. Whether it’s venting your frustrations to friends, posting on social media, or letting emotions get the better of you in front of a judge, this behavior can significantly damage your credibility. Under Texas Family Code § 153.002, courts are directed to make custody decisions based solely on the best interests of the child, and a parent’s ability to stay composed, respectful, and solution-focused is a key part of that evaluation.
Using profanity, hostile language, or displaying open contempt for the custody proceedings—especially in a courtroom or online—can be interpreted as a lack of self-control. Judges are human, and impressions matter. If you appear combative or unwilling to cooperate, the court may question your ability to foster a positive, stable environment for your child.
As our attorneys often remind clients, calm, professional communication goes a long way. Demonstrating a cooperative attitude not only enhances your standing with the judge but also reinforces your commitment to co-parenting and putting your child’s well-being first. When communicating with your ex or discussing the case in any context, assume your words could be shown in court—and choose them accordingly.
It’s also critical to be mindful of your digital footprint. Social media posts, emails, and text messages can become evidence. Even a private group rant or an angry meme could be taken out of context and used against you. That’s why we urge parents to avoid posting about their case online entirely.
To help you navigate these tricky situations, we recommend reading Top Tips: How to Prepare for Your Texas Custody Suit, which offers practical steps to help you stay composed, prepared, and in control during custody litigation. You can also explore our article on how to avoid making a judge angry in your Texas custody hearing, a helpful companion to understanding courtroom behavior.
Maintaining professionalism in your words, both in and out of court, shows the court that you’re focused on your child’s best interests—not your own frustrations. And that mindset could make all the difference when your parenting future is on the line.
Making Unilateral Decisions About the Child
Among the most critical things you should not do in your Texas custody case is making major decisions about your child without first consulting the other parent. Texas courts place a high value on parental cooperation, especially when it comes to issues that affect a child’s education, healthcare, religion, or overall well-being. Under Texas Family Code § 153.134, a joint managing conservatorship requires both parents to share decision-making responsibilities. When one parent acts independently—without agreement or legal authority—it may be interpreted as unwillingness to co-parent.
Unilateral decisions can include things like switching schools, scheduling medical procedures, or enrolling the child in extracurricular activities without input from the other parent. Even if your intentions are good, bypassing communication shows a disregard for shared parenting responsibilities. Judges may view this behavior as controlling or dismissive of the child’s relationship with the other parent—two red flags in any custody evaluation.
In contentious or high-conflict custody cases, a detailed parenting plan can help avoid these missteps. Outlining who handles which decisions and how communication should occur gives both parents clarity and prevents future disputes. The court is more likely to favor parents who demonstrate they can work together to make decisions in the child’s best interest—even if their relationship is strained.
For parents currently preparing for litigation, our team recommends reviewing How to Prepare for a Child Custody Battle During Your Texas Divorce. It offers a clear roadmap for building a solid case and avoiding common pitfalls that can derail your custody goals. You may also find our blog post on how Texas judges evaluate co-parenting behaviors especially helpful if you’re navigating a shared conservatorship.
Collaborative decision-making doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything—it means showing the court that you respect the other parent’s role and are committed to putting your child first. In our experience, that approach not only strengthens your custody case but builds a healthier, more secure environment for your child long after the case is closed.
Engaging in Substance Abuse
Substance abuse can have severe consequences in a child custody case. Serious issues like neglect or substance abuse can lead to losing custody in Texas custody cases. During a custody dispute, acknowledge any substance abuse issues you may have. Denying these problems can be detrimental to your case. Honesty in a child custody dispute is important for your integrity and helps you maintain a good standing with the texas courts in Texas child custody cases, especially for a Texas family, as outlined in the Texas family code.
Parents undergoing substance abuse treatment may regain physical custody if they demonstrate successful recovery and compliance with treatment protocols. However, failure to do so may result in a situation where they could lose custody. Social media posts can also be evaluated to judge a parent’s capability to provide a stable environment.
Addressing substance abuse issues head-on and seeking treatment can positively influence your custody case and work towards creating a safe and stable environment for your child’s well being.
Alienating the Child from the Other Parent
One of the most damaging things you should not do in your Texas custody case is engage in behavior that the court may interpret as parental alienation. Parental alienation occurs when one parent deliberately undermines or interferes with the child’s relationship with the other parent. This can take many forms—making negative comments about the other parent, limiting communication or visitation without justification, or encouraging the child to reject the other parent emotionally.
Under Texas Family Code § 153.001, it is presumed that children benefit from having frequent and continuing contact with both parents who act in the child’s best interest. When a parent violates this principle by trying to turn the child against the other parent, it can trigger legal consequences, including modifications to custody and possession orders. Courts take alienation seriously because it places emotional pressure on the child and can lead to long-term psychological harm.
If you believe your co-parent is attempting to alienate your child from you—or if you’ve been accused of alienation—documenting the behavior is essential. Save texts, emails, and any communications that show attempts to interfere with visitation or manipulate the child’s perception. More importantly, speak with an experienced family law attorney who can help you present this information effectively and legally in court.
For a helpful breakdown of what to do in cases involving blocked access or manipulation, read What to Do If Your Ex Is Withholding Visitation in Texas. It outlines the legal steps you can take to enforce your rights while protecting your child’s best interests. You may also find value in our article on how Texas courts view interference with visitation, which dives deeper into enforcement options and court remedies.
Avoiding alienating behaviors and supporting your child’s relationship with the other parent—even when it’s difficult—is not just about legal strategy; it’s about emotional stability for your child. As our family law team often reminds clients, judges are watching not only how you parent—but how well you support the child’s right to love both parents. That mindset will always serve you better than a short-term emotional win.
Neglecting Legal Advice
Seeking legal support from an experienced family law attorney is essential to protect your parental rights in a child custody case. A family law attorney can provide clarity on your legal rights and outline the available options for custody disputes during an initial consultation. An experienced attorney can effectively advocate for your rights and ensure that all necessary legal protocols are followed in family court, alongside legal professionals.
Neglecting to hire an attorney can significantly negatively impact your case outcomes. Disregarding legal advice can have serious repercussions and may put your custody case at risk. Legal representation helps navigate the complexities of custody cases, reducing the chances of errors and easing negotiations for custody agreements.
Discussing the Case Publicly or on Social Media
Public discussions or social media posts about your custody case can backfire and become evidence against you. Avoid posting anything online pertaining to your custody case that you wouldn’t want disclosed in open court. Threatening or negative content about your ex spouse can adversely impact your custody case and should be avoided.
If you have posted something that could serve as evidence against you, discuss it with your attorney. Adjusting privacy settings on social media does not guarantee protection, as others can still capture and spread your posts.
Keeping private matters off public platforms protects your custody case and maintains a positive image.
Conclusion:
Custody battles can feel like emotional minefields—especially when you’re trying to do what’s best for your child while navigating court orders, co-parenting dynamics, and a mountain of legal paperwork. Hopefully, after reading this, you’ve got a clearer picture of the things you should not do in your Texas custody case and how those decisions can shape your child’s well-being—especially at school and at home.
The truth is, the little things matter. Judges notice. Teachers notice. And most importantly, your child notices. Avoiding the wrong moves isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up with intention, patience, and a willingness to put your child’s future first.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure about your next steps, you’re not expected to figure it all out alone. Our team at The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC is here to walk this path with you—offering guidance, legal strategy, and support designed with your family’s future in mind. Whether it’s building a parenting plan that works or helping you avoid those hidden legal landmines, we’ve got your back.
So take a breath, keep your focus on what really matters, and when you’re ready, let’s talk. After all, no one gets extra credit for doing it alone—and when it comes to your child’s future, a smart game plan is everything.
Frequently Asked Questions: Texas Child Custody
What not to do in a custody battle in Texas?
Avoid badmouthing the other parent, violating court orders, withholding visitation, or making unilateral decisions without court approval. These actions can hurt your credibility and negatively affect your chances of gaining or maintaining custody.
What looks bad in a custody case?
Substance abuse, hostile communication, non-compliance with court orders, instability in employment or housing, and lack of involvement in your child’s life can all make a parent look unfavorable to a judge.
What do judges look for in child custody cases Texas?
Judges in Texas focus on the best interest of the child. They look for parental stability, willingness to co-parent, ability to meet the child’s needs, and efforts to maintain continuity in education and emotional well-being.
What is the biggest mistake in a custody battle?
The biggest mistake is putting your own emotions above your child’s needs—especially through conflict, revenge, or trying to alienate the other parent. Judges value cooperation and a child-centered approach.
What not to say during a custody battle?
Avoid statements that show anger, disrespect, or an unwillingness to co-parent. Don’t make threats, exaggerate claims, or discuss adult matters in front of your child. Everything you say may be scrutinized in court.
How a mother can lose a custody battle in Texas?
A mother can lose custody if she fails to follow court orders, engages in alienating behavior, neglects the child’s needs, or is involved in criminal or abusive conduct. The court does not automatically favor mothers.
What hurts you in a custody battle?
Disrespecting court processes, poor communication, missing visitations, and appearing unstable in any area of life—housing, work, or behavior—can seriously hurt your position in a custody battle.
What not to say in child support court?
Avoid statements that minimize your financial obligations or disparage the other parent. Do not lie about income or expenses—accuracy and honesty are key to maintaining credibility.
Who wins most child custody cases?
While mothers historically won custody more often, Texas courts now focus on the child’s best interests. Both mothers and fathers can win custody if they demonstrate the ability to provide a stable, nurturing environment.